"I once believed that I mattered..."
I really appreciated Fr. Mike's homily this week. He doesn't often share his own vulnerability, but we were let into a window of his heart that suffers when he feels he has "nothing to offer."
For Fr. Mike, he went on to connect the themes of loneliness, having something to offer and the feeling of whether or not we matter, landing on this massive identity lie that I think many of us struggle with today, a belief that torments us in lonely hours, disrupts friendships and causes us to compromise our own integrity in our behavior or in the demands we put on others in our lives.
He has such unique insight, serving on a campus of college students, from which he gets to hear the hearts of what many young adults struggle with, but which, in the bigger picture, so does the rest of the world.
"I once believed that I mattered, but I don't believe I matter anymore."
Does your own heart not break to hear such gut wrenching vulnerability, but at the same time, I challenge you to think, where have you felt the same thing to be true in your own life? Where to you find it so hard to love yourself because you are overwhelmed by your sense of lack, of incompetence, of failure or impotence.
Put another way, where do you fall into feelings of anger, resentment, frustration, bitterness or contempt in relationship with another person in your life because you feel unseen, unappreciated, uncared for, or unloved?
I guarantee you that any situation which creates the emotional turmoil just mentioned above, where another person fails to love you well and you respond with anger, resentment, frustration, bitterness, or contempt is indicative of a place in yourself, a part of your personality, a piece of your heart that you are incapable of loving unaided by the love of another and so their rejection stings all the more.
Simply put, when we see the other person's behavior is the problem or when we cannot see our own worth, often this stirring within you is a call to greater self-love.
Having "nothing to offer" does not need to lead to feelings of uselessness, shame and isolation.
God loved you into existence. Loved you before you were born, before you accomplished anything.
If that is true, and we believe it is as Christians, then there are two questions we must ask ourselves in the moments where we fail to see our value, worth and significance:
What am I believing about God in this moment that further ingrains this false belief? (a belief that we often don't even give conscious consent to, but have acted from a place of implicit conviction since we were young). Am I willing to renounce it and ask for the light of Truth to shine in it's place in my heart?
Why do I so easily believe this about myself? Can I start to get to know this part of me that is so sure it is worthless, insignificant, useless, a burden and start to understand the reason why it has been safer to rest in this false conviction for so long, than believe something else. And am I willing to believe that there may be another way to think about myself in this moment?
If you are at all curious about doing this, learning how to see yourself in your entirety and from that begin to develop compassion. If you have a desire to start shifting the perspective you have on yourself and who you are in God's eyes, then join us today in the
12 CST for our Live Coaching Call
where I teach you the tools that allow you to engage with and get to know your Interior Life!
See you in there and God Bless,
Nora
Catholic Mindset and Interior Life Coach
Hi, I'm Nora :) Catholic mother, daughter, wife, poet, blogger, podcaster, avid reader, 12-Stepper, and Certified Catholic Mindset and Interior Life Coach. I help people who struggle to see their dignity and value amidst the hardships of life find hope and fulfillment by reworking limiting belief patterns and learning how to know themselves deeply in a way that invites compassion and understanding. I use the tools of Mindset Coaching through the lens of Internal Family Systems to help my clients see the Truth of the Goodness and Beauty of who they are and how they were Made.
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