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The Five Pillars: #1 The Right To Exist

Updated: Jan 15, 2023

"Our true worth does not consist in what human beings think of us. What we really are consists in what God knows us to be." St. John Berchmans

The right to exist, to take up space on this earth, to have needs, to have money spent to meet my needs, to be here and receive the proper amount of care, time and resources that is required to maintain the thing that is ME in good condition. The right to exist is the right to my life and quality of life as well.

Did you know that? Did you know that you deserve all of those things as a given and not only when some other human says it’s okay?

I didn’t. I didn’t know I had a right to be a burden to other people by my own existence. I didn’t think about the fact that everybody has the right to need things from other people, to depend upon others, to be supported by others. Somewhere along the way I just didn’t learn this truth.

If someone had asked me if I believed I had the right to exist, I would have said, “Of Course!” and moved on. What I didn’t realize was how this lie, the lie that “you don’t deserve anyone else’s time, space or energy” was poisoning my soul and my relationships. For you it might sound a little different. For you it might sound like, “You shouldn’t need to ask for help, you need to figure this out on your own!”, or “I don’t want to be a bother.”, or “I shouldn’t be here, I’m just in the way!”. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable being celebrated for your birthday, recognizing an achievement or receiving praise. These resistances to the relational, communal experience come from wounds and wounds are an access point for the enemy.

Who says those things? Who inspires those mean, belittling or discounting phrases in your head? Certainly they are not from the heart of God. They are lies. Lies from the pits of hell that are said with the intent to take you down where you stand and stop you in your tracks.

You have a right to need.

You have a right to have desires.

You have a right to take up space.

You have a right to have money spent on your well-being.

Who says those counter points? Who says I deserve these good things? You know. The Almighty. The Great I Am. The Maker of the stars!

And who am I to say He is wrong?


I am a Certified Catholic Mindset Coach through Metanoia Catholic. I help Christian women who feel discouraged with life find fulfillment and hope they desire by reworking limiting belief patterns with the tools of mindset coaching so that they can see the Truth of the Goodness and Beauty of who they are and how they were made.

If you feel you could benefit from coaching do not hesitate to reach out, I'd love to hear from you. And if anything has spoken to your heart or you have any questions in general about Catholic Mindset Coaching, sign up for a FREE Discovery Call on the Services page!

If you wish to get to know me better, check out my personal blog, Grateful Blessed Mess, at for an inside view of my interior life, and don’t forget to listen in to the Grateful Blessed Mess Podcast when you get a chance! God bless!

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