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Pillar #1.5 You Matter Because You Exist

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." — St. Thomas Aquinas

To believe that you matter is a matter of Faith. I cannot convince you of the significance of your existence any more than I can convince you that God is real. It is something simultaneously within you and beyond your control. You can intellectually reason through the logic of it, but it is only God who can convince you at the level of the heart, that you matter.

So why would I try to convince you that you do? Because I know what it feels like to live from that place of fractured self-esteem, and I see the effects all over of people living from this place, and my heart breaks. I know that place. I know that feeling, the heavy misery of wondering what the point was of all this struggle, pain, or heartache. I know how crushed I can feel with rejection, how dependent I can be on her mood or his treatment of me, and I don’t want that for you.

This pain does not have to be part of your story because it was never supposed to be part of our story. This kind of pain comes from a cracked foundation. It comes from not knowing our inherent value and dignity as a human being made in the image and likeness of God and the indelible truth that we are His beloved child. When someone has the power to crush our spirit, set the tone for our day or make or break our feeling of emotional safety, then we have forgotten who we are and Whose we are.

It doesn’t have to be so hard. I wish I could say I was over the hump of this particular foundational peace, but I am not. On the journey for sure, but with miles to go and much to learn. I still struggle with knowing and living in my dignity often, and the particular place that I am in makes it very hard for me to feel comforted by the fact that I am a child of God. I feel it bounce off of me, even though I want it to stick so badly. If you are someone who is comforted by your divine filiation, then you likely not in need of the remainder of this conversation, but if not, please read on. I have found what I believe to be is the beginning of a solution where I can start to move forward along the lines toward my heavenly Father, but first in the context of existence itself.

You matter because you exist. I cannot stress this point enough or encourage you to consider it. You exist. You don’t have to, you know? Can you see how you had nothing to do with that coming about and so it has nothing to do with you whether or not it should be so? We don’t wonder if the sun should be here or not, or if we should really need oxygen to breathe. There are some things that we actually do accept as facts and are then free to stand on as solid ground. The more I question what can just be taken as a simple, “because it’s so”, the more neurotic and dysfunctional I become. I think this is a helpful tool to check whether or not what you are worrying about is something worth worrying about: where does it take you? Does it open you up to wonder, or does it cause you to spiral into misery, confusion and despair?

You simply ARE and that in and of itself is mind blowing. What would it look like to just move forward from that place? If you feel unable to, here is something more.

You exist because somebody wants you to. Somebody who knows you. Somebody who thinks you’re beautiful, knows you’re funny and sees your heart. Consider it. If the chances are just as likely that this is as true as it is false, then why not choose to believe the one that gives hope and meaning? This is not some grand philosophical argument, but a meager attempt to consider a few points. Why not take it as a matter of fact that you “are” and that in and of itself is significant? Why not take it as a matter of fact that you are here on purpose? Why not take it as a matter of fact that you are here for a reason and that is the thing which you are to consider.

You were made to exist. Take my word for it. It’s out of your hands. What is in your hands is what you do with it, that is where your mission lies. I will leave you in the hands of St. John Henry Newman with a favorite prayer of mine:

God has created me to do Him some definite service.

He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.

I have my mission.

I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next.

I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.

He has not created me for naught.

I shall do good; I shall do His work.

I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.

Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away.

If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him.

If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.

He does nothing in vain.

He knows what He is about.

He may take away my friends.

He may throw me among strangers.

He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me.

Still, He knows what He is about.


I am a Certified Catholic Mindset Coach through Metanoia Catholic. I help women who feel discouraged with life find fulfillment and hope they desire by reworking limiting belief patterns with the tools of mindset coaching so that they can see the Truth of the Goodness and Beauty of who they are and how they were made.

If you feel you could benefit from coaching do not hesitate to reach out, I'd love to hear from you. And if anything has spoken to your heart or you have any questions in general about Catholic Mindset Coaching, sign up for a FREE Discovery Call on the Services page!

If you wish to get to know me better, check out my personal blog, Grateful Blessed Mess, at for an inside view of my interior life, and don’t forget to listen in to the Grateful Blessed Mess Podcast when you get a chance! God bless!

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